Friday, July 07, 2006

My Son,

I have loved the very thought of you, before you were even a boy. When I saw your
p-nut shaped body for the first time, I was so overcome with emotion that I couldn't see past the tears in my eyes. See you have to understand that your Dad and I had been friends for over 10 years before we had fallen in love and decided to marry. We had discussed having children and how many and we knew that we would love any child that we were blessed to have, I just never knew how much until I saw you in an ultrasound. When you began to grow, you tested your limits and boundaries early on by stretching your arms and legs. In the beginning they felt like I had butterflies in my tummy! The more you grew the more I grew, and soon settled down for a long Winters nap -- NOT! Occasionally rolling over onto my bladder, caused me to go to the potty more times than I care to remember. You would also scrunch your bottom up so that it would poke out on my right side( I'm lopsided to this day). At times your hiccups would keep me awake, but I thought they were the cutest thing your were doing at the time. (They lasted throughout the pregnancy!) You got stronger by the day and what once felt like butterflies, now feel like The Eagles' whole Defensive Line! This is because you didn't have as much room as you once did. I felt every inch of and we were fully aware of each other. We'd play Tag and Kick Ball with your ribs! You won every time.
I was able to see your growth via Ultrasound machine, I was what you call High Risk, because I have a kidney disease called
Polycistic Kidney Disease. I wont go into the details now but Dr. Belden wanted to make sure that you were developing properly.

So my son, your time was coming to an end and you had no plans to move out of your housing unit! Your Birthday was supposed to be on December 25, 2005 (Christmas) But you were not budging! Dr. Belden said to come to the Hospital so that they could begin to induce me. That just means that they gave me some meds that were administered, not by IV or orally! That was @ 8:00pm on Dec. 27th. With help of
Pitosin my contractions were coming but you still were just hanging on the cord! So from Tuesday night to Wednesday morning you hadn't begun to pack your bags. The medicine that was given to me in a special way wasn't working so, some genius had a light bulb moment and said, " Give it to her orally!" Hello people a lot easier this way! Wednesday was like a really bad episode of ER and Grey's Anatomy put together! At 1 in the after noon there still wasn't any progress and I wasn't allowed to eat, there wasn't any reason for Ryan to starve to death. I sent him to the cafeteria to get something to eat and plus my mom was due to arrive soon anyway and I wouldn't alone. In a split second I went from trying to manage my contractions and relax to "I need another pair of hands in here!" yelled by a nurse. No one was telling me what was going on! A pair of hands turned into anyone in the hall. They dropped my head back and kicked my feet in the air and what I could see over my belly is what looked like 4 doctors trying to see who could go the farthest. Then there was a nurse who, I'm convinced was trying to kill me with the canula asking me was she hurting me, Ahh Yeah! Then I was blanking out, things were going so fast and w/o sound. Ryan came in at the peak of high drama and I do remember them holding him back so that he couldn't get to me. All he could do was look at how much pain I was in and there wasn't a damn thing he could do! Once things calmed down the explained that my BP went up the baby' heart rate dipped. According to them there was no time to explain anything. EPIDURAL pleeeeeeeeeeese! If I was going to be tortured like that again I wanted the drugs. All day nothing and at 8pm Wednesday Dr. Belden checked me and I was only 2cm. So he called for the EPIDURAL guy and gave me more drugs to prep me for the C-Section.

At 8:51pm on Wednesday you were evicted...Uh, I mean born. I heard you whimper and again I couldn't see past the tears in my eyes. They brought you to me, as they put Humpty Mommy back together again, what I saw was that from true love, great things happen --- you!

I love you from your feet to your nose!


Anonymous said...

luv it....he couldn't have better parents!

godmommy step

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

Miles, you are so lucky to have such a wonderful mommy and daddy. This was beautiful. I really enjoyed reading it.

The birth of your child. The most precious gift. You will never forget it as long as you live. As difficult as it was, it was so worth it in the end. Thank you for sharing.